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September 30 Broken hearted...A couple of months ago, my dog, Rocky had a massive seizure. He had never had one before, and it was quite scary to see.
I took him to the vet and, after a thorough check, the vet said he seemed fine, and that we should just keep an eye on him, as she didn't want to start investigating in case it triggered off something else.
Anyway, he was absolutely on top form, no adverse affects or repeat seizures.
 Yesterday morning, I get a phonecall at work from Jordan, saying that Rocky is having a seizure and Sophie was panicking as she didn't know what to do.
Luckily, I was able to leave work straight away, and get home in 8 minutes.
Rocky was looking a bit dazed and confused when I got home, so I rang the vet and took him straight over.
He got the once-over again, and the vet was happy that he seemed to have recovered. She said that it could be any one of a hundred different things that has caused it, so we should just keep an eye on him, and go back if there were any more episodes. The vet also prescribed some Diazepam rectal tubes, that I could administer to Rocky, should he have another fit.
He was very restless and pacing loads, and I knew that something was still not right, and, sure enough, about 445pm, he had another seizure!
I couldn't manage to get any of the meds in, but he came round, and was pacing more and acting really wierd. I rang the vet, and she said to moniter him through the night, and go back in the morning to start blood tests etc...
8pm, he went into yet another fit, this time I managed to get some meds in, and when he came round, his behaviour was more erratic and it took him longer to settle.
As soon as he was settled enough to go to sleep, he went into yet another fit!!!
And, again, his behaviour afterwards was quite distressing to watch.
I rang the emergency vet for some advice at 10pm, and he said that it was "normal" behaviour after a fit, but if I was worried, then to ring back.
Then from 11pm, the fits were becoming more frequent, his behaviour was more distressing, and he was that dazed and confused that he didn't know where he was, and he wasn't responding to me. He was also very unsteady and banging into walls, doors and furniture.
By midnight, the fits were constant, and he was just going straight into fit after fit and I was beside myself, as the Diazepam wasn't having any effect on him at all.
So I rang the emergency vet and arranged to take Rocky over.
I got there at 1am, and he was just crying and really agitated, so the vet admitted him and said he will sedate him, to try and settle him through the night.
I rang back at 7am, and was told that Rocky was still having seizures as the sedation was wearing off. The vet was going to transfer him, by ambulance, over to my vet at 9am, so that tests could be carried out.
I rang at 10am, and was asked to go in, so that the vet could speak to me. Instantly I broke down, thinking that my dog was gone.
When I got there, the vet called me in, and explained that Rocky didn't seem to be responding to medication, and that when he was coming round from sedation, he was really distressed and just kept going into yet more fits.
She didn't really know what was causing it, as they couldn't carry out any tests as he was too agitated . She said she wanted to try different meds through the day, and that I should go back at 530 to re-assess the situation, and that I should pepare myself for the fact that he may not recover!!!!!
I got a phonecall at 420pm, fron the vet, asking me to go at 5 instead. My heart sank, as I knew it would be bad news.
I got there, and the vet called me in.
She said that she couldn't believe just how quickly Rocky had deteriorated in 24 hours!
Rocky was not responding to any of the medication that she had tried, and even if he went for a MRI scan, there was no guarantee that this would be conclusive or help in any way, and the kindest thing would be to put him to sleep.
 I was gutted, even though I sort of already knew that this would have to happen.
I signed the consent form, and I went into the treatment room, so that I could be with him as he went.
I'm not sure if he recognised me or not, and he was still whimpering which broke my heart, but I just smothered him in kisses and held him as the vet gave him the injection.....within seconds, his heart stopped and he slipped away.
He was finally at peace. He must have been absolutely exhausted, as he had been having seizures for the past 24 hours, and there was no way that I could have let it carry on.
I stayed with him for about 10 mins, and I arranged with the vet to have him cremated separately, so that I could bring his ashes home, where he belongs.
We are all devastated, Dan especially, as he is not here.
But I keep reminding them, that he is now at peace, and thats what we should keep thinking.
I can't bring myself to move his bed or his water and food bowl, yet, maybe tomorrow........
   RIP Rocky, xxx September 20 21st Birthday MemoriesToday is my step-son, Arron's 21st birthday. Unfortunately, Arron died a month before his 16th birthday, back in 2004. He had epilepsy, and he had a massive seizure during the night and hit his head. It was a massive shock to us, as he had just visited us the day before, saying how excited he was about his 16th birthday, and, then, to be told the next morning that he was gone!!!!!!
Arron is in the blue football top. This is how we always remember him, little and cheeky!!!!! He was doing a lot of disco's for kids with one of his uncles, and one of his favourite songs was Hero, and it was played at his funeral. Happy Birthday Arron, xxx YouTube - Enrique Iglesias Hero September 13 IL DIVO- MAMA
Quote For my beautiful Mother, Happy Birthday, xxx YouTube - IL DIVO- MAMA letra/lyrics (english- español) Birthday memoriesToday is my Mum's birthday, she would have been 64!!!
 Can't imagine her being a pensioner, LOL, but can imagine the mickey-taking she would have got from us,
 And can DEFINATELY imagine the clip round the ear-hole we would get for it, too,
 Leah and I went to the cemetary, took some flowers and a card, didn't stay long as it was freezing!!!!!
 Anyway, Happy Birthday, Mum, miss you every single day, Love you, xxx September 02 Why so happy....?...Good question!!!
 As I was doing my ironing on Sunday, and doing other bits and bobs, and chatting to the kids in between, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of happiness!!
 Over the next day or so, I was trying to think what had changed to make me feel like this, as it has been a VERY long time since I felt this content........
Have I found Mr Right????
Nope...
Have I won the lottory?
Nope...
So, what's changed??!!!
 After a lot of soul-searching, I have come to the conclusion that it's me that has changed, or rather, my attitude....
For the last couple of years of my marriage, I was desperatley unhappy, so I plucked up the courage to leave and start again, which was very difficult, but turned out to be the best decision.
 Just looking at how my kids have blossomed is living proof that it was the best thing.
Although I was happy, to an extent, there was always a niggling something.....
I have led myself to believe that I cannot be content because I have a serious lack of finances, and I don't get any sort of maintenance from my Ex, so it's his fault that I cannot be happy, and because that's what I had in my head, he still had some kind of a hold over me, (subconsciously).....and when Soph finished college, Tax Credits took a huge amount of money off me, so I thought, that's it, can't have any sort of life at all, now!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I decided to take control and do something about it.
I work 28 hours, on a basic week, but it is nowhere near enough for me to make up the shortfall that I have been left with, so I have signed up to an agency, to try and get another 16 hours to fit around my main job, and as soon as the CRB comes back, I can get stuck into that.
My contract has also just been increased, to do two Saturdays a month, which is an extra 14 hours a month, which is great.
I have also done a bit of cleaning for a friend, as a favour now and again, and he gives me a few quid, and he has asked me if I want to clean for him and his wife on a more regular basis, once a fortnight, which is a bit of a bonus. So the money I get from him just gets put away to save, as it's money I wouldn't normally have had, so I don't miss it!!
So, as we haven't had a holiday since 1998, we have decided that we are going to try and do Glastonbury next year, which is something that I have always wanted to do, and we are buzzing at the thought of it!!!
My cleaning money is going into our "Festival Fund", as is all loose change that seems to accumulate, Leah's dad has said he will pay for her ticket, and Soph and Jordan will be paying for thier own tickets.
Have to wait until Leah gets her events dates from school, though, to see when her exams are, as Glasto is in June, so it will mean having to take Leah out of school for a week, which she won't be allowed to do if there are exams..........
So, fingers crossed, she won't have anything TOO important to do on those dates.
 If, for some reason she has and cannot get the time off school, then we are probably going to do the Leeds festival, as thats in the summer holidays.
Dunno who is more excited...Me or the kids!!!!
Back to the title of this blog...Why so happy?...
Because I have taken control, undone the shackles that had kept me bound to my Ex, ( my fault for allowing the shackles), I have put wheels in motion to help finances, and I have given us a little something to work towards.
With the realisation of what we have, and what we can achieve, I am so happy and grateful for everything in my life at the minute, and I don't need a bloke, I'm managing very well on my own, thank you very much, and I don't need to win the lottory, (though it would be nice,
)......That is why I am sooooo happy!!!!!!!!!! |
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