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October 06 And now for the anger.........I am really struggling to come to terms with losing my beloved Rocky, maybe because it all happened so quickly and unexpectedly, I don't know, but I am finding it really difficult adjusting to a very quiet house without him.......
 But I am also starting to feel angry!!!!!!!
 Why??????
I thought that by having pets insured, meant that if, or when any unexpected treatment was needed, then the insurance would take away all the worry and stress of having to find money for vets fees, so that you could concentrate on getting your furry little family member all fixed and well again.
How wrong I was!!!!!!!!
On our first visit to the vet on Tuesday, after Rocky had the first seizure, I had to pay £80 as soon as the consultation was over. This was a bit steep, as I'm skinter than skint, but I had my car tax money, so I used that. (So could only put 6 months tax on instead of my planned 12, but hey-ho, as long as my dog was ok, I could live with that.)
Anyway, as the night wore on, and Rocky was becoming more seriously ill, at midnight, I had to call the emergency vet and ask if I could take Rocky over.
The first thing the vet said to me, was that there is a £130 call out fee, plus administration fees and charges for any medication/treatment that may be needed, and that I had to pay this on my visit!!!!!!
I was already past myself with worry over my seriously ill dog, and I just got a whole lot worse, as I said I didn't have that kind of money available, and all I want is for someone to take care of my dog!!!!
So the next thing the vet asked, was if Rocky had insurance, to which I replied, yes he does.
I was only allowed to take Rocky over as long as I took my insurance policy and my latest bank statement to prove that I am making regular payments on this policy, and I had to take ID, then the vet would just make a direct claim on the policy, but I still had to pay the £60 excess there and then!!!!
So in my distressed state, I had to find all these documents before I could get my dog the care that he needed!!!!!!!
 I thought that vets were supposed to have a love of animals and want to take care of them!!!???!!!!!
To make things worse, when I was called over to my vet on Wednesday morning, after my vet explained how ill Rocky was, she said that the emergency vet had told her that I had problems with finances, and this may have an affect on the treatment that she was able to give Rocky, as they didn't do direct claims, and I had to pay all fees up front for any treatment received!!!!
Unfortunately, Rocky became so ill that the scans that she was planning wouldnt have helped anyway..........
After I signed the consent form for her to put Rocky to sleep, before I could go in to be with him, she asked me about the cremation etc, and said that she couldn't authorise this until all bills were paid in full, and as I was in too much of a state then, she would send the invoice out to me in a day or two!!!!
I got the bill on Saturday, and the outstanding fees were £137....
 So after a bit of juggling with my bills, and robbing Peter to pay Paul, I managed to get £150 into the bank to settle the bill as soon as I could so that I could bring Rocky's ashes home.
Yesterday, after work, I went straight over to settle the bill, and I took an insurance claim form, to try and get some of the fees back, only to be told that I will be charged another £24 admin fee for the vet to fill out the section detailing all treatment and medications!!!!!!!
Then after paying more than I expected to have to pay, I asked about his cremation, and was told that it was an outside company that will collect his body on Thursday, and return his ashes the following Thursday, and they will bill me separately!!!!
WTF?????
Nobody told me that I needed yet more money!!! I was lead to believe that it was all included in the final bill!!!!!
So now I have to find another £100 to pay the Pet Crematorium!!!
I am still in shock at losing Rocky, now I have all the added worry of not having enough money to pay bills, and Im stressing about christmas being around the corner!!!!!!!!!!!!
So, all the bo**ocks of being told that insuring your pets take away the worry of vets fees is a load of old bullsh*t!!!!!!!
And so much for vets "caring" about animals, all they care about is getting as much money as they can from you when you are distressed!!!!!!!!
If ever I came to a point of being able to get another dog, I would have to seriously take into account finances, as I have learned the hard way that insurance is not necessarily a guarantee of peace of mind!!!!!!!! September 30 Broken hearted...A couple of months ago, my dog, Rocky had a massive seizure. He had never had one before, and it was quite scary to see.
I took him to the vet and, after a thorough check, the vet said he seemed fine, and that we should just keep an eye on him, as she didn't want to start investigating in case it triggered off something else.
Anyway, he was absolutely on top form, no adverse affects or repeat seizures.
 Yesterday morning, I get a phonecall at work from Jordan, saying that Rocky is having a seizure and Sophie was panicking as she didn't know what to do.
Luckily, I was able to leave work straight away, and get home in 8 minutes.
Rocky was looking a bit dazed and confused when I got home, so I rang the vet and took him straight over.
He got the once-over again, and the vet was happy that he seemed to have recovered. She said that it could be any one of a hundred different things that has caused it, so we should just keep an eye on him, and go back if there were any more episodes. The vet also prescribed some Diazepam rectal tubes, that I could administer to Rocky, should he have another fit.
He was very restless and pacing loads, and I knew that something was still not right, and, sure enough, about 445pm, he had another seizure!
I couldn't manage to get any of the meds in, but he came round, and was pacing more and acting really wierd. I rang the vet, and she said to moniter him through the night, and go back in the morning to start blood tests etc...
8pm, he went into yet another fit, this time I managed to get some meds in, and when he came round, his behaviour was more erratic and it took him longer to settle.
As soon as he was settled enough to go to sleep, he went into yet another fit!!!
And, again, his behaviour afterwards was quite distressing to watch.
I rang the emergency vet for some advice at 10pm, and he said that it was "normal" behaviour after a fit, but if I was worried, then to ring back.
Then from 11pm, the fits were becoming more frequent, his behaviour was more distressing, and he was that dazed and confused that he didn't know where he was, and he wasn't responding to me. He was also very unsteady and banging into walls, doors and furniture.
By midnight, the fits were constant, and he was just going straight into fit after fit and I was beside myself, as the Diazepam wasn't having any effect on him at all.
So I rang the emergency vet and arranged to take Rocky over.
I got there at 1am, and he was just crying and really agitated, so the vet admitted him and said he will sedate him, to try and settle him through the night.
I rang back at 7am, and was told that Rocky was still having seizures as the sedation was wearing off. The vet was going to transfer him, by ambulance, over to my vet at 9am, so that tests could be carried out.
I rang at 10am, and was asked to go in, so that the vet could speak to me. Instantly I broke down, thinking that my dog was gone.
When I got there, the vet called me in, and explained that Rocky didn't seem to be responding to medication, and that when he was coming round from sedation, he was really distressed and just kept going into yet more fits.
She didn't really know what was causing it, as they couldn't carry out any tests as he was too agitated . She said she wanted to try different meds through the day, and that I should go back at 530 to re-assess the situation, and that I should pepare myself for the fact that he may not recover!!!!!
I got a phonecall at 420pm, fron the vet, asking me to go at 5 instead. My heart sank, as I knew it would be bad news.
I got there, and the vet called me in.
She said that she couldn't believe just how quickly Rocky had deteriorated in 24 hours!
Rocky was not responding to any of the medication that she had tried, and even if he went for a MRI scan, there was no guarantee that this would be conclusive or help in any way, and the kindest thing would be to put him to sleep.
I was gutted, even though I sort of already knew that this would have to happen.
I signed the consent form, and I went into the treatment room, so that I could be with him as he went.
I'm not sure if he recognised me or not, and he was still whimpering which broke my heart, but I just smothered him in kisses and held him as the vet gave him the injection.....within seconds, his heart stopped and he slipped away.
He was finally at peace. He must have been absolutely exhausted, as he had been having seizures for the past 24 hours, and there was no way that I could have let it carry on.
I stayed with him for about 10 mins, and I arranged with the vet to have him cremated separately, so that I could bring his ashes home, where he belongs.
We are all devastated, Dan especially, as he is not here.
But I keep reminding them, that he is now at peace, and thats what we should keep thinking.
I can't bring myself to move his bed or his water and food bowl, yet, maybe tomorrow........
   RIP Rocky, xxx September 20 21st Birthday MemoriesToday is my step-son, Arron's 21st birthday. Unfortunately, Arron died a month before his 16th birthday, back in 2004. He had epilepsy, and he had a massive seizure during the night and hit his head. It was a massive shock to us, as he had just visited us the day before, saying how excited he was about his 16th birthday, and, then, to be told the next morning that he was gone!!!!!!
Arron is in the blue football top. This is how we always remember him, little and cheeky!!!!! He was doing a lot of disco's for kids with one of his uncles, and one of his favourite songs was Hero, and it was played at his funeral. Happy Birthday Arron, xxx YouTube - Enrique Iglesias Hero September 13 IL DIVO- MAMA
Quote For my beautiful Mother, Happy Birthday, xxx YouTube - IL DIVO- MAMA letra/lyrics (english- español) Birthday memoriesToday is my Mum's birthday, she would have been 64!!!
Can't imagine her being a pensioner, LOL, but can imagine the mickey-taking she would have got from us,
 And can DEFINATELY imagine the clip round the ear-hole we would get for it, too,
 Leah and I went to the cemetary, took some flowers and a card, didn't stay long as it was freezing!!!!!
 Anyway, Happy Birthday, Mum, miss you every single day, Love you, xxx September 02 Why so happy....?...Good question!!!
 As I was doing my ironing on Sunday, and doing other bits and bobs, and chatting to the kids in between, I suddenly had this overwhelming feeling of happiness!!
 Over the next day or so, I was trying to think what had changed to make me feel like this, as it has been a VERY long time since I felt this content........
Have I found Mr Right????
Nope...
Have I won the lottory?
Nope...
So, what's changed??!!!
 After a lot of soul-searching, I have come to the conclusion that it's me that has changed, or rather, my attitude....
For the last couple of years of my marriage, I was desperatley unhappy, so I plucked up the courage to leave and start again, which was very difficult, but turned out to be the best decision.
 Just looking at how my kids have blossomed is living proof that it was the best thing.
Although I was happy, to an extent, there was always a niggling something.....
I have led myself to believe that I cannot be content because I have a serious lack of finances, and I don't get any sort of maintenance from my Ex, so it's his fault that I cannot be happy, and because that's what I had in my head, he still had some kind of a hold over me, (subconsciously).....and when Soph finished college, Tax Credits took a huge amount of money off me, so I thought, that's it, can't have any sort of life at all, now!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, I decided to take control and do something about it.
I work 28 hours, on a basic week, but it is nowhere near enough for me to make up the shortfall that I have been left with, so I have signed up to an agency, to try and get another 16 hours to fit around my main job, and as soon as the CRB comes back, I can get stuck into that.
My contract has also just been increased, to do two Saturdays a month, which is an extra 14 hours a month, which is great.
I have also done a bit of cleaning for a friend, as a favour now and again, and he gives me a few quid, and he has asked me if I want to clean for him and his wife on a more regular basis, once a fortnight, which is a bit of a bonus. So the money I get from him just gets put away to save, as it's money I wouldn't normally have had, so I don't miss it!!
So, as we haven't had a holiday since 1998, we have decided that we are going to try and do Glastonbury next year, which is something that I have always wanted to do, and we are buzzing at the thought of it!!!
My cleaning money is going into our "Festival Fund", as is all loose change that seems to accumulate, Leah's dad has said he will pay for her ticket, and Soph and Jordan will be paying for thier own tickets.
Have to wait until Leah gets her events dates from school, though, to see when her exams are, as Glasto is in June, so it will mean having to take Leah out of school for a week, which she won't be allowed to do if there are exams..........
So, fingers crossed, she won't have anything TOO important to do on those dates.
 If, for some reason she has and cannot get the time off school, then we are probably going to do the Leeds festival, as thats in the summer holidays.
Dunno who is more excited...Me or the kids!!!!
Back to the title of this blog...Why so happy?...
Because I have taken control, undone the shackles that had kept me bound to my Ex, ( my fault for allowing the shackles), I have put wheels in motion to help finances, and I have given us a little something to work towards.
With the realisation of what we have, and what we can achieve, I am so happy and grateful for everything in my life at the minute, and I don't need a bloke, I'm managing very well on my own, thank you very much, and I don't need to win the lottory, (though it would be nice,
)......That is why I am sooooo happy!!!!!!!!!! August 11 Scary sh*t!!!!!Just been given this link on Facebook........
Scared the hell out of me as we were just on this ride yesterday!!!!
Day out to BlackpoolThis summer, we were determined to do something a little different from the usual days out, so we decided to have a trip to Blackpool for a change.
The wristbands are a lot cheaper if they are booked online, so that is what we did.
The weather has been gorgeous, so we booked for 10th August, as that was the only day that Soph and Jordan were off work together.
Got up yesterday morning, and the weather had changed completely!!!! It was dark, miserable and wet!!!!
 Had no choice, wristbands were booked, so we had to go. Jordan had forgotton to bring a jacket, so we had to stop off at his house on the way out, but eventually got on the road by about 830am.
Kept saying to the kids that the weather would be fine once we got over the Pennines......think I was trying to convince myself more than anything!!!!!!
 It did start to brighten up as we were going over the Pennines, and there was even a rainbow.....
 However, as soon as we turned onto the M6, the rain was torrential and the road spray was that bad I could barely see the traffic!!!!
It was a nightmare!!!!!
There were still dickheads driving at full speed, with no lights, it was the scariest drive EVER!!!!!!!
Eventually got to Blackpool by 1050am, and it was still pouring down!!!
Found the car park, then set about trying to find the entrance to the Pleasure Beach. A simple task, you would think!!???
We walked a little way along an underpass, and all we could see was an entrance to the Ice Skating arena. that cant be it, so we walked out onto the main road, and started walking along looking for an entrance. The rain was torrential and we were getting soaked!!!
Found a sign that said "entrance", only to see a smaller sign saying that this entrance was no longer in use!!!!!
 Kept walking, and walking......to find that the entrance to the park was actually the ice skating arena entrance, where we had been in the first place!!!!!!!!!!
 So we had walked in a huge circle, and got soaking wet for nothing!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eventually got into the park by 1130.
Needed some waterproof ponchos, as it was still raining, but at the entrance, the woman only had 2 left, so I got those for Soph and Leah as they didn't have proper jackets on.
First stop, the Ghost Train!!!! It was class...
I don't normally do rollercoasters, as I don't like heights, but I was determined to get my money's worth out of my wristband!!!
Felt ill just looking at the Pepsi Max Big One,
 There was NO WAY I would get on that!!!!! Especially as it has the highest drop in Europe...235 feet!!!!!! Your having a laugh, aint ya?????
Jordan said he would take Leah on it later, as she loves the big rides, and couldn't wait to get on it!!!
Just after lunch, the rain eventually stopped, and it got out really nice,
 There was a water ride called Valhalla, and it was inside a huge mountain thing, so you couldn't really see what it was like, but the sign's outside clearly stated "You will get soaked on this ride!"......OK, we'll give it a try anyway,
They were selling waterproof poncho's, so Jordan and I bought one each, as soph and Leah already had their's.
As soon as we got onto the ride, we were wet, as the bottom of the "boats" were filled with water, so we were instantly shin-deep in water!!!!!!
Not a ride to go on if you have expensive shoes or trainers on!!!!
It was brilliant, though, never been on a water ride like it!
We were pulled up quite steep ramps, backwards AND forwards....
Went through sections where "Vikings" were building...some parts were filled with steam, another part was icy cold!!!!!
Water was being dropped on us and fired at us from all directions...
There was even a drop that took us through a tunnel that had a ring of fire!!!!!
It was bloody amazing!!!!
The poncho's only kept a bit of us dry, our feet, legs, bum's and head's were saturated!!!!!!!
The only downfall, was that we all had jeans on, so it took all day to dry off!
Went on The Infusion..thought I would be terrified as its one where you are hanging under the rail, so feet dangling everywhere, but it was fun! Just glad that I left my shoes on the platform otherwise I would have lost them!
Went on the Grand National twice, and the second time, as it had warmed up, my jacket was open, and I only had a vest top on, and the ride was that bumpy my boobs bounced out, LMAO!!!! Luckily, no-one saw!!
That will teach me for not wearing a more supportive bra!We went on all the big rides, but I didn't go on the Ice Blast, too much for me!!!!!!
We also went on a few of the smaller rides, meant for younger people, and it was quite surreal and scarey!!!!
It was like being in a bad dream, induced by mind-bending drugs!!!!!
Think it would traumatise little kids!
I was dead proud of myself for going on the big rides, because I'm normally such a wimp, LOL, so, as I was having an adrenanlin rush, I offered to go on the Pepsi Max Big One with Leah, as Jordan had chickened out!!!!
 Leah was buzzing!!!! I said we have to go quick, before I change my mind...she practically frog-marched me there as she wanted to go on it soooo much!!!!
I have never been so scared in all my life!!!!!
235ft drop, almost vertical, at 85mph!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The climb to the top peak felt like it took forever!!! I tried and tried to keep my eyes open but it just wasn't happening, they were jammed shut all the way round, I was gripping on for dear life, whereas, Leah, had her arms up and eyes open all the way round!!!!! Bloody nutcase, she is!
"OMG, Mum, that was sooo worth it, it was class!!"
Yeah, for you maybe.....
But I did it..woohoo!!!!!!!!
the park shut at 8pm, so we set off home, got back at 11pm, and fell into bed, after a fantastic day!
Suffering today, though, think I have whiplash from being thrown about,
 August 05 From Jungle to peaceful haven.......I have been in my house for 2 years, now, and the weeds in the back garden just get bigger and more ferocious each year!
So, this year, I decided that it needed to be conquered, but I couldn't do it alone.
I enlisted the help of my brother-in-law's young labourer, Daz.
I had strimmed the weeds down as much as I could before he turned up on Tuesday morning.
There was a mini "patio" area that the previous tennant had put in, but I wanted rid of it, as there was evidence of mice nesting.
Sure enough, as Daz lifted the paving slabs, there was two little nests and six baby mice scurrying around.
Awww, they looked so cute!!! But I had to keep reminding myself that they were VERMIN!!!!!
Rocky made a beeline for them, trying his hardest to "play" with them,
, so I had to put him in the house and shut the door.Daz managed to capture five of the babies, but one of them did a runner.
During the day, as we were working, the mother mouse made an appearance, and you could see that she was desperately looking for her babies,
.We tried and tried to catch her, so that she could be with the little ones, but she was just too fast. So Daz took the babies over to the field and left them under a bush, in the hope that the mother would find them, as I didn't want them too close to my house, as I do not want any lodgers!!!!!
I had a skip ordered, and it was supposed to be delivered Tuesday morning, but it didn't turn up ubtil 2pm!!! And that was only after I had been on the phone TWICE!!!!!!
So we were held up a bit, because of the wait!
Anyway, Daz came back today to get it finished.
I just wanted it plain and simple and easy to manage, so I decided that the cheapest and quickest option was to put bark chippings down. I also needed a bit of a screen along the fence, as my garden backs onto the main road, and there is a bus stop right outside my fence!!!!
So I got some willow screening to stop people looking in and being nosey-parkers!!!!
I also got two big planters and put a mini conifer in each, with a little tea-light and pebbles next to them, and the kids have decided that they are memory tree's, one for Mum and one for Dad. I will get some little solar lights for them too, to add the finishing touch,
.No doubt I will buy bits and bobs for my new garden whenever I see anything that takes my fancy,
I love my garden, now, it is such a relaxing place to be, so we just need nice weather so that we can enjoy it!!!!!!
Here are some before and after pictures.......
  The jungle before we started......
  Killer weeds have been cleared.........
  All done........
It is soooo much better now, and I am sure my neighbours will be happy that they don't have to look at a jungle anymore!!!! July 30 This day was inevitable........As you may or may not know, Dan and Soph are from my first marriage, and we haven't seen or heard from my Ex in about 14 years.
He was not a very nice person, he was always in trouble with the police, in and out of prison, taking drugs, etc, and the kids and I did a moonlight flit to get away from him all those years ago, with the help of my family, and we made a new life for ourselves.
But Dan has always said, that one day, he would like to track his Dad down.
I tried to discourage this, as I knew it would have had a negative effect on Dan, especially when he was going through his own teenage trials and tribulations.
Anyway, as you all know, my son is now a very confident, level-headed young man, with great ambitions in his new life with the Army, and he has grown up a lot.
Dan text me earlier to say that he had received a message on Facebook from a woman that recognised his name, and she asked if he had a sister called Sophie!!!
It turns out that this woman is the Ex girlfriend of my Ex, and she has a daughter to him! They are no longer together, and her daughter wants nothing to do with him, as he hasn't changed his ways.
He is currently in prison for armed robbery!!!!!!!!!
I would really, really rather that Dan didn't get in touch with him, but I have to respect his wishes and support him.
Dan has spoken to this woman, and she has told him that his Dad has never forgot about him, and that on Dan's 18th birthday, he said he would have loved to have been able to have a drink with him.
He has also said how much he misses Soph and Dan, but Soph wants nothing at all to do with him. She dosen't know him at all, she was a very small child the last time she saw him, so he means nothing to her.
But Dan is determined to speak to him, and have contact.
I have stressed that he shouldn't get too involved, especially with the nature of the jail sentence, and that he should take things slowly.
I have dreaded this day for so long, but, hopefully, with Dan's determination to succeed in the Army, this will keep him focussed on his future, and not get sucked in by this man and his lifestyle.
July 25 Gutted........I have been invited to a hen night, on 8th August, in Leeds.
It has a Burlesque theme, and will be soooooo much fun, but I can't go!!!!!
Two reasons:
1) It is right in the middle of my two weeks off work, and I will have Leah home, so we can spend some proper time together during the summer holidays.
2) I don't have any money!!!
I am so gutted that I can't go!!!!!!!!
Soph and her mate are going, so I have told her to have extra drinks and extra fun for me....................  July 04 A joke, for a change..........A woman goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot.
The parrots are £200, £100 and £15.......
She ask's why the last one is so cheap.
"Because he used to live in a brothel", says the shopkeeper.
The woman dosen't mind this, and buys the parrot for £15.
When she gets home, the parrot says, "F**k me, a new brothel!".
The woman finds this quite funny.
When her two daughter's come in, the parrot says, "F**k me, two new prozzie's!".
They find this hilarious.
When the woman's husband comes home, the parrot says, "F**k me, Pete, haven't seen you for ages!!". July 02 Sophie's first drive out..................As you know, Soph passed her driving test on Monday.
Well, she has sorted the insurance and just got the tax today for my old Corsa.
When I got in from work, she had left me a note to ask me to pick her up from work in the Corsa so that she could drive home.
Ok, I felt a bit nervous about this, but she has to get used to it sometime, and its only a 5 minute drive................
As it has got a bit of a dodgy clutch, I had to keep reminding her to push the clutch right down, and she managed pretty well, considering she has only ever driven her instructer's car.
I only crapped myself once, when she decided at the last minute to make a right turn, just as a car was coming towards us!!!!!!!!
She even managed to pull onto the drive, without taking the mirrors off,
Anyway, I decided to bath my dog tonight, as he was a bit smelly and he was very hot.
After I had bathed him, I needed a bath, 'cos the bloody sweat was pouring off me!!!
I had said to Soph, that until I can get the clutch sorted next week, then she should just drive around the block for now, just to get used to the car and to build up a bit of confidence, so while I was in the bath, she said she was going for a little drive,
She had been gone about 20 minutes and I was beginning to get a bit worried, but then I heard her come in.
"I'm not going to lie to you, Mum, but I think I have bumped your car"......
WTF?????
As she was reversing off the drive, she was that busy looking to her left, for little sprogs that were running around the street, she didn't bother looking over her right shoulder, to check how far away MY car was, before bumping straight into it!!!!
It was over the other side of the bloody road!!
You could have got a frigging bus through!!!!!!!
Ok, maybe a bit of an exaggeration, it IS a very narrow cul-de-sac.....but STILL, my car has a huge dent in the front wing, now!!!!!!!!!!
Suppose, on the bright side, she didn't right it off, or squash one of the little sprogs!!!!
God help us, now that she is mobile!!!!!!! June 29 Well done Soph........My Sophie has just passed her driving test today,
First time, too, smarty-pants!!!!!
I feel ancient, now, as two of my children can drive!!!!
Also, Sophie finished college last week, and is now a fully qualified Beauty Therapist,
My babies are growing up sooooo fast!!!!!!
As I now have my Dad's car, I have signed my old car over to Sophie, and she is itching to get out in it, but she has to wait until she sorts the insurance for it, which will set her back £1000!!!!!!!!
But she has been saving, and hopefully, she will have it sorted pretty soon.She is also hoping to get started as a mobile therapist, and has been looking into applying for grants, etc. She has done loads of research, and has got prices for everything, even the liability insurance that she will need to be able to become a mobile therapist!! She is so organised with everything, I bet it won't take her long to get up and running with everything!!!
Dan is doing well, too. He has just got 95% in his Materials exam, and he has just sat another big test last week, and he feels confident that he has done really well,
He is due home at the weekend, only Friday to Sunday, but I am soooo looking forward to seeing him, I miss him so much!!!
So, once again, my kids are filling me with pride!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS.............................. June 21 My birthday......As you may or may not know, today was my birthday,
 I am 21, with 20 years experience, LOL........
 There were mixed emotions, with it being Father's Day, and the first one without my Dad, and it's his birthday on Tuesday as well, so you can imagine the feelings....
 Anyway...back on track.....
On Friday night, Soph and Leah disappeared into the kitchen and banned me from going in there.......Hmmmmm....wonder what they are up to????
 Then Soph said that whatever chores and stuff that I was going to do over the weekend, then I had to make sure everything was done by the time she comes in from work on sunday afternoon!!!!!
On Saturday night, I had some pressies that I had brought home from work, and I said I was going to open them at midnight....."NO!!" says Soph, "You have to wait"........Bloody spoil-sport she is at times..............
 8.25am, this morning, in comes Leah and Soph, closely followed by my dog, he knows he is not usually allowed in my room, so he skulked in behind the girls, and gave me a sneaky look from the floor, waiting for me to shout at him to get out, but I let him in, as it was a special occasion,
He took advantage and DIVED onto the bed!!!!!!!!!!The girls said that they were saving my pressies until later, but I could open my card.
It was lovely, and they had cut out a couple of photo's of when they were younger, and stuck them inside, and generally, just customised my card!!!
And, did you know, that they have invented some new words to add to the English language????
Leah wrote..." Have a LOVELEYICIOUS day, love you SHAFRILLIONZ"
And Soph wrote..." love you GABILLIONS"
Didn't realise just how articulate my girls were!!!!!!
Needed to drag my backside out of bed, to take Soph to work, so I opened my pressies off my friends first, and stood all my cards up.
Dan rang me at 10am, to wish me a Happy Birthday. It is always lovley to hear his voice, I miss him soooo much!!!!!
Leah and I then went to Asda, and had a lovely, big bacon and mushroom butty to get us started, YUMMY!!!!!!
Later on, we both went to the cemetary, to take Dad's card and flowers, and we sat there for about half an hour or so, talking about Mum and Dad, until Leah was ready to come away, then I dropped her at her Dad's for an hour or so, so she could spend some of Father's Day with him.
At about 4.30pm. Soph rang leah and said that she had to get me out of the way before she came in..........
I needed to go and change my bedding, anyway, seeing as my stoopid dog had moulted half of his bloody coat all over it this morning, so I just stayed in my room, like a naughty little child, until they shouted me to come down stairs.!!!!!!!
I came down to some beautiful red roses and lillies......
 They had also got a snow-globe that could be customised, and they had put photo's of the three of them in there, and it is beautiful, brought a tear to my eye....
  They also got me a gorgoeus top, with a necklace and bangles to match......
   Then they set about doing my tea.
The other night, we were sat chatting, and I said how much I fancied some chinese food and some jam roly-poly and custard....so guess what I had for my birthday tea?????
 Washed down with a lovely glass of wine.......
 AND, they did all the washing up, too!!!!
And, as they forgot to get me a birthday cake, they stuck a candle into a jam doughnut........
 So, once gain, I have been spoiled rotten, and Soph is also going to give me a facial, tint and wax my eyebrows, and tint my eyelashes, but that will have to wait until tomorrow, as it got too late tonight, after my sister and her family had gone, so that is something else for me to look forward to.
Thanks kids, love ya loads...........xxx
 Here is me modelling my new outfit.....
 June 06 Random night out..........After all the emotions of late, I fancied a night out to ease tensions, so I got on to the girlies to get it sorted.
Not everyone could make it, but we went anyway.
The town was unbelievably quiet for a Friday night, the pubs were almost empty!!!
 The weather was shocking!!!! Pouring with rain and freezing cold, so I made sure I had me brolly,
 We only went to 3 pubs, as it was too cold to go on a pub crawl.....
The last pub we were in is normally heaving, as its open until 3am, but it didn't start to fill up until well after 11pm, and we had the dance floor to ourselves,
 I ended up being so hot, that my hair was soaked and slapped to my head....not a very attractive look!!!!!
Anyway, soph wasn't really in the mood, as she had to be at work for 8am, so she text Jordan to come and pick her up early, and we just boogied on a bit more.
At some point, for whatever reason, some toss-pot took a swing at Fabio and punched him in the face!!!
No idea why.....but, thankfully, Fabio is sensible and didn't retaliate, and we just got the bouncers to throw the tosser out!!By 12.30, we were ready for home, so we jumped in a taxi, and it was STILL pouring down!!!!!!
Got home to find that Soph had been for a pizza, but couldn't eat it, so I had a lovely supper of cold pizza, cold kebab meat and congealed garlic sauce!!!!
 It was very tasty at the time, but thinking about it now....................YUK!!!!!!!  May 20 Sophie's tattoo.......When Soph turned 18, she said she wanted to get a tattoo, so I said that I would pay for one for her, when she was ready.
So, last week, she plucked up the courage to go and get it booked in!!!
She had found a design on 'tinternet, and asked the chap if he could do it. No probs!!!!!
So I had to go with her, as she is a wuss!
With it being on her foot, it was VERY painful, more than she imagined, and she was trying so hard not to move her foot!
Thought she was going to pass out with the pain,
Anyway, it was well worth it, as it has turned out really nice, and she is happy with it..........
    May 11 And so the journey begins..............Dan's journey began at 530am, this morning, as he set off to Bordon for phase 2 of his training. He was driving down, and had to be there for 12pm, so you can imagine my worry with such a long journey on his own!! Anyway, he arrived safe and sound just before 12, Our journey, as a family, began at 1030am, as we set off for Dad's funeral...... Leah didn't feel able to go, and said she thought she would be better off going to school, giving herself something to think about, and Soph couldn't go, as she was too distraught when she went to Mum's funeral, so she stayed at Jo's, to look after the baby, with Tom and Grace. Hannah came with us. It was a very difficult time, but, thankfully, as Dad was not a religious man, the service was quite short, followed by his burial, and we were back home within the hour. When making arrangements, we were asked if there was a song that we wanted playing for Dad......this got us stumped, but as most of his CD collection was of The Beatles, then it was only right to choose one of their songs, but which one!!??? After a lot of searching, as soon as I heard it, I knew I had found the perfect one......I listened to the words as though it was Dad singing it to Mum, as he missed her so much, and just wanted to be with her again, and it made so much sense, even one of our relatives commented on it afterwards, and said that we couldn't have found a song more appropriate.............................
May 06 So many emotions...........Talk about an emotional rollercoaster!!!!!!
18th April, my sister gave birth, eventually, to a beautiful little girl.
21st April, my Sophie turned 18.
24th April, Dan had his passing out parade.
25th April, sophie's birthday party.
 3rd May, my Dad suddenly passed away......no warning......no inkling......
 Dad had been "unwell" for about 2 months, but nothing definate, just lots of different things: nothing to suggest that his days were numbered!
He had been having tests done, to try and establish the cause of his ailments, and to try and determine why his legs had filled with so much fluid, that they were literally leaking, to the point that a nurse had to come in on a daily basis to change the dressings, but nothing specific was given to the cause.
He had also had an ECG, endoscopy, colonoscopy, numerous blood tests, but nothing was said to my Dad or my Sister, who was his first point of contact.
Anyway, last Tuesday, Dad rang Paul, my brother-in-law, and said that he didn't want to worry my sister, but he had had a fall, and could Paul go over.
When Paul got there, although Dad hadn't hurt himself, he was in a bad state, as the nurse hadn't turned up the day before, so his bandages were saturated and hanging off, and his legs were looking infected!
So Paul got onto the GP surgery, demanding that a nurse come out and that Dads GP come too, as we wanted some answer's because Dad wasn't getting any better, but we weren't being told anything.
The nurse turned up, and was shocked that nobody had been the day before, as Dad was on the list to get daily visits! As she changed his bandages,, when Dad managed to stand up, Paul noticed some really nasty pressure sores on the back of Dads thighs, and bottom.
Dad has been suffering from excrutiating back pain for about 6 weeks, and has barely been mobile, to which the GP has only been prescribing painkillers!!!
Anyway, the GP eventually turned up, and although he is Dads GP, it was a different doctor that has been treating him, so this GP didn't really know Dad.
But on dads records, it said that the results from the ECG, over a month ago, showed that Dad was suffering from heart failure, and that one of the blood tests had confirmed this, BUT, at no point had any of this information been given to Dad or Jo!!!!
Paul was fuming, and the GP was taken aback that we didn't know any of this.
After a lot of apologising, he arranged for Dad to be taken into hospital, for further tests and observations, to try and get Dad sorted, once and for all!!
Still, no indication that Dad was so ill.
On Friday, Dad had another ECG and it didn't show anything abnormal. So the doctors got together, to discuss a plan of action, on how best to get Dad well enough to come home, and they would get started on this after the bank holiday.....
Sunday morning, my brothr-in-law rang me at 730am, and said they had just received a phonecall from the hospital, to say Dad had had a cardiac arrest, and could they come over to the hospital. So I went to my sisters, to sit with the kids.
We were a bit worried at this, but nothing could prepare us for the news that he had already passed away, sometime during the night!!!
He only went in for tests and observation, then to be told that he was gone........it's very hard to take in!!
I wasn't close to my Dad, we have always clashed, and since Mum died, we drifted further apart, but he's still my Dad, and I can't believe that he has gone.
He was due to move in with Jo and Paul in a few weeks, they are building an extension specially for him, and it's 3 weeks from being finished! He was so looking forward to moving in, as he was very lonley and has not adapted since Mum passed, but he won't get to see the finished extension.
He never got to see the DVD from Dan's passing out parade, either, which he wanted to see, as he was upset that he wasn't well enough to go to the parade.
So, as you can imagine, we are still in a daze, and it was very surreal talking to the undertaker, making arrangements for a man that wasn't supposed to go anywhere yet!!!!
Even the doctors were shocked that he had passed away so quickly.
His death certificate stated that it was a pulminory embolism that was the cause of death, and heart failure was secondary. So the one comfort from this, is that Dad wouldn't have known anything about it, it would have happened so quick in his sleep.
The funeral is on Monday, which is going to be very difficult.
And Dan goes to Bordon on Monday, too, so that is another wrench for me......
 April 26 Soph's party....Saturday morning........party day!!!!!!
 I have sunburn blisters from hell: on my chest, tops of my arms, and shins, ( I was wearing leggings at the time, so only the bottom bit of my shins and ankles were showing!), so every movement is painful, but don't have time to dwell, there is soooo much to do!!
 First thing, had to get Leah to school for 830am, as she was going on a school trip....
 Then it was off to Iceland to buy party food......
  Spent the day cooking and preparing, and eventually finished all the food by 3pm.
Blister's getting bigger and more painful, and for some reason, my feet and ankles decided to blow up like balloons!!!! My feet haven't done that since I was heavily pregnant all those years ago!!!!!! Had a quick sit down before going to pick Leah back up at 445pm.
Because of the sunburn, I had to wear "comfortable" clothes, so I didn't really feel like I was going to a party, and I was driving, so wouldn't be drinking either, but, hey-ho, I am sure I will make up for it some other time!!
 Anyway, my girl's looked absolutely gorgeous, as ever!
 We arrived at the venue just before 7pm, so that we could get all the food table set up, and put balloons and table confetti out, and Soph decided that she wanted to do party bags for every one, so she sorted those!!
By 750pm, only about 20 people were there, and I must admit, that I was feeling a bit nervous for Soph, thinking that no-one would turn up for her party........
 But by 830, the place was packed!!!!
My sister and brother-in-law even managed to get there with the kids, and the baby just slept all the time she was there!!
Dad couldn't go, as he is not well enough.
Sophie was a tad "tipsy" to say the least, LOL.
She got loads of cards, money and alcohol, so the pile of things that had accumulated around me, was just getting bigger!!
She made a little thank you speech, then everyone had something to eat, and I was worried that there would be too much food and lots of waste, but it looked like a swarm of locusts had just swept through,
Soph and her mates were going on into town afterwards, so I ordered them a mini-bus for 11pm, then set about tidying up, before packing everything back into my car, and dropping Dan and his girlfriend off before eventually getting home and crashing into bed.
It was a huge success, and Soph came rolling in at 320am.....LOL
My blisters are bigger this morning, and Im suffering more than I would if I had a hangover!!!!!!
 Still, it's my own fault for being too excited at seeing my son, to think about suncream!!!!!!!!
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